Caring for an aging parent or loved one at home brings plenty of rewarding moments – but it also comes with challenges, especially when difficult behaviors start to surface. Changes in memory, mood, and physical ability can lead to frustration on both sides. As caregivers, knowing how to respond with empathy and understanding can make all the difference.
At Sitters, LLC, we work with families every day who are navigating these complexities. Drawing on over 20 years of local caregiving experience, we’ve learned that difficult behaviors often have root causes that can be managed with the right approach.
Understanding the “Why” Behind the Behavior
One of the first things we encourage family caregivers to ask is: What might be causing this behavior?
Disorientation, confusion, fear, pain, or overstimulation are common culprits. Someone living with dementia might lash out verbally not because they’re angry, but because they’re scared and don’t have the words to explain what’s wrong. A loved one who’s refusing to bathe might not be stubborn – they might be cold, embarrassed, or afraid of slipping.
When you understand the “why,” it’s easier to respond with patience and compassion instead of frustration.
Common Difficult Behaviors—and What Helps
Here’s a closer look at some of the most common challenging behaviors family caregivers face, and how to handle them:
1. Aggression or Agitation
Sudden outbursts, yelling, or even physical aggression can be alarming. This behavior may stem from fear, confusion, pain, or feeling misunderstood.
What helps:
- Stay calm. Speak in a soft tone and give your loved one space.
- Avoid arguing or reasoning during an outburst.
- Try to identify and reduce triggers – bright lights, loud noises, or a crowded room might be overwhelming.
2. Refusing Care
Refusing to eat, bathe, or take medication is more common than people realize. For someone who’s always been independent, needing help with personal tasks can feel humiliating.
What helps:
- Offer choices. Instead of saying “It’s time for your bath,” try “Would you like to shower now or after breakfast?”
- Involve them in the process when possible.
- Keep routines consistent to build trust and comfort.
3. Wandering
This is especially common in individuals with Alzheimer’s or dementia. Wandering isn’t just a safety risk – it can also be deeply stressful for caregivers.
What helps:
- Ensure the home is secure with door alarms or GPS trackers.
- Maintain a structured daily routine to reduce restlessness.
- Provide safe opportunities to walk and explore in supervised settings.
4. Sleep Disruptions
Older adults often experience changes in sleep patterns, but for caregivers, that can mean late nights and early mornings full of worry.
What helps:
- Limit caffeine and screen time in the afternoon and evening.
- Try to keep a regular schedule, even on weekends.
- If insomnia or nighttime confusion persists, check with a healthcare provider – it might be related to medication or a medical condition.
Communication Strategies That Make a Difference
How you communicate matters just as much as what you say. When a loved one is struggling with memory or mood changes, clear and compassionate communication becomes essential.
- Use simple language and one-step directions.
- Maintain eye contact and use their name.
- Validate their feelings even if the facts aren’t accurate. Saying “I understand that you’re upset” goes further than correcting them.
At Sitters, LLC, we train our caregivers to use these same strategies. We’ve seen how slowing down, listening, and validating emotions can turn a tense moment into a calmer one.
Self-Care for the Caregiver
Family caregivers are often juggling full-time jobs, raising kids, and managing household responsibilities – on top of caring for a parent or spouse. That kind of pressure adds up. It’s no surprise that caregiver burnout is real and serious.
Give yourself permission to:
- Take breaks, even short ones.
- Ask for help – from family, friends, or a professional caregiving service.
- Say no without guilt.
You can’t pour from an empty cup. Prioritizing your well-being allows you to be more present and patient with your loved one.
When to Ask for Help
There’s no shame in needing support. Whether it’s a few hours a week or daily assistance, bringing in a professional caregiver can ease the strain and offer your loved one skilled, compassionate care.
At Sitters, LLC, we offer personalized caregiving services that meet your family’s unique needs. Whether you need help managing difficult behaviors, want someone to provide companionship, or simply need a break, our experienced team is here to help.
Want to talk about your caregiving challenges or see how we can support your family? Reach out for a consultation and let’s talk through what would make the biggest difference for you and your loved one.
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